Stage Fright.

Stage Fright- I’ve got it. I can’t write a thing. I have three blog posts sitting in the drafts file. Help. Help! Does that happen to other bloggers?

This Big Project of mine has taken on a life of its own. It’s not what I thought it was going to be. It’s like a loose thing that I can’t get hold of. I sit at the kitchen table every morning studying, STUDYING- at my age it could be dangerous, and getting more and more excited by everything that I read and more and more intimidated by the amount I don’t know.IMG_1625

A couple of weeks ago I had the hubris to believe that I knew this stuff. Hah! Ye Gods, how ye laugh at me. By the way, it’s snowing. The Gods clearly read my last post, thought to themselves, what sort of know-it-all eejiot is this woman, and promptly turned the thermostat to Vladivostok.

I realise that I haven’t told you yet exactly what I’m doing. Soon, I promise. As soon as I know, you’ll know.

In the mean time it’s a thing, slowly coming to life, like this sourdough starter of mine, formless but fermenting. Hidden depths, deeply meaningful and all that malarkey. IMG_1665

What it means, I think, this awful wobbly nervous feeling I have, is that what I’m trying to write matters, matters to me. I have to stop fooling myself that it matters to anybody else and then I’ll be grand. Of course, it might also mean that what I’m trying to do is a really stupid idea. My gut and I are in need of a translator. HELP!

Wishing you all a lovely weekend,

32 thoughts on “Stage Fright.

  1. Perhaps you should share the plan and that will ease the build up stress. If you love what you want to do, it will be a success. Maybe you should break us all in gently if its going to be very different from your normal posts. But there is one thing having a love of a subject and reading around it, to making it a new career and being an expert so to speak. I have run my accountancy practice for about twenty years, but its only in the last five I have had the real confidence to freely write about tax and accountancy online. If I hadn’t had a change of heart this very month, I was about to embark on setting up an on-line consultancy site, writing about business and tax planning. But the urge to write children’s books and illustrate was stronger – so the tax was shelved. However I do believe that blogging is a good start and your writing is always entertaining and fluid, so start with small articles and build up. Your opinion will always be an original take on a subject anyway. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hiya,
        Have the nerves settled? Looking forward to your new articles. Maybe start with an introduction, a summary of what we will be looking at…that will break the ice. I had computer malfunction and am borrowing Mums Ipad for a few days until I get replacement. Talking about demons…same here. I want to create meaningful posts with some meat on bone, but also in transition stage as what I want to write about, hasn’t really got started yet.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hi Judi, sorry I didn’t reply sooner but I haven’t even switched on the computer for weeks. I hope everything is going well for you there and that you are finding new inspiration as spring, hopefully, arrives!


  2. I think I lost my comment, but apologies if it comes up twice. If it excites you and motivates you and you look forward to spending time on it, it in no way is a stupid idea. I’m cheering you on and hoping that it succeeds and brings you happiness. CJ xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. In 3 and1/2 years of blogging, I have only managed 53 published posts and have *cough*72*cough* drafts. So I hear you on the stage fright, although tbh I think my stage fright is actually (undiagnosed) clinical anxiety. I recently read this advice on writing: do it everyday, without hope, without despair. This made a lot of sense to me and I’ve been trying to keep it in mind, to keep myself on more of an even keel. I also try to keep my future self in mind: what would my 90 year-old-self say to my current self? Would she be royally ticked off if I gave up? Yup, I think she would! So even though it’s hard at times, I keep trying, one word at a time, one sentence at a time — words that matter to me, words that will drown me if I keep them in, words that I want to believe will resonate with someone, somewhere — without hope, without despair, without having a clue if it will lead to anything further or not.
    xo Marian

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I found Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Big Magic” and Hillary Rettig’s “The Seven Secrets of the Prolific” to be the most helpful companions, so much so that I bought copies of each for my daughters, both of whom are also engaged in creative work. Sending you encouraging vibes.

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  5. Don’t be afraid of ‘stage fright’. Just hold your head high in a room. Creative writing can be a solitary pursuit but very therapeutic, too. My partner is the first one to hear and read everything be it fictional or non fictional. My best critic.


  6. Just go with it …. advice Tom Ferguson of Gubbeen gave me 30 years ago on child rearing which I have applied to pretty much everything else that has had a potential in my life these last three decades. All shall be well I tell thee, all shall be well 😊


  7. I think you should go to your drafts and post them all just as they are…let it go, be done…no more stressing over drafts…not sure what you have taken on in your life, but it is obvious taking up a lot of your, for no better word, fun !!! If it is making you crazy, close the book walk over and turn the music up and let it go…dance like there is no tomorrow….wine would probably help too!!! or a good cup of java with a little something special in it…Hope the sun is out and shining down upon you…..xxkat


  8. Having drafts is the best sign… it means you plan to write, that you don’t force the words but believe in letting them take their time, and that you pause to consider if you are saying something that is true for you. I’ve just checked and I have six. Having said that, if they linger in the drafts for six months or more, you might just have written a draft. Nothing wrong with that either!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Glad to hear from you. Yes ole man winter is not giving up this year is he !?! enjoy the change of season to come soon I hope, Its hot already here, we have had 100’s already, but it is the desert! XXkat


      2. Is there anyway we ca stay in touch? My email is I really do have plans to get to Ireland in the future and would love to meet you, and if you ever paint that beautiful blue fence I will never find you LOL only if your comfortable with this…kat


  9. Spring is here! New blog post..please! 😉🤞 Really enjoy your blog and looking forward to popping in and hearing what you’ve been up to again. Until then, take care and be kind to yourself. 🌹


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